


Five Scenes From Sarah Walker's Perspective

by bobbihunterr



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: F/M, chuck vs the breakup, chuck vs the colonel, chuck vs the hard salami, chuck vs the pilot, chuck vs the wookie, this is kind of like prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbihunterr/pseuds/bobbihunterr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1. </p><p>He’s just an assignment, a mission. No strings attached. But somewhere in between him fixing your phone and defusing a bomb you realize that maybe “no strings attached” is going to be harder than you thought. You follow him to the beach and watch him. He looks like a boy, suddenly burdened with manhood, as if Atlas has fallen and left the sky to the one and only Chuck Bartowski.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Scenes From Sarah Walker's Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this is my first Chuck fanfiction ever, and also my first fanfiction ever written in this sort of perspective. If you like it please let me know c: I hope you enjoy!

1\. He’s just an assignment, a mission. No strings attached. But somewhere in between him fixing your phone and defusing a bomb you realize that maybe “no strings attached” is going to be harder than you thought. You follow him to the beach and watch him. He looks like a boy, suddenly burdened with manhood, as if Atlas has fallen and left the sky to the one and only Chuck Bartowski. You feel bad for him; it can’t be easy, having all of that information in his head. If that had happened to you it would have been hard to deal with so for someone like him? It must be terrible. You vow to make sure nothing happens to him. It’s the least you can do, really. The sun is rising though and to need to get debriefed back at headquarters. So you walk over and sit next to him. You ask him to trust you and find it ironic, because who are you to ask someone to trust you, when you don’t trust anyone? But he agrees and you try to ignore how your heart skips a beat when he smiles at you. You try to ignore the fact that he’s already getting under your skin and its only day 3. You try to ignore how beautiful his eyes are and how his laugh sounds like an old favorite song you had forgotten about long ago. You try to ignore it all. _But you don’t_. After all, even spies are human. 

 

* * *

 

2\. No olives. _He remembered_. He actually cared enough to realize and remembered. He waltzes into your hotel room with a pizza box and a familiarity in his actions, as if he could’ve done it a million times and for a moment, _just a moment,_ you think that he could maybe be your friend. But then he asks to know something real about you, and it’s so hard to keep quiet. He’s pleading now, you want to open your mouth and shout out your hometown, your name, anything really. Anything to keep him from looking at you the way he is now. It’s so tempting, for the first time in years someone actually cares enough to want to know more about you. But you can’t say a thing. It will compromise your cover and you can’t have that. So you keep your mouth shut. He doesn’t see the storm just behind your lips, the longing to tell him anything. He just looks at you, waiting for something and when you don’t say anything he gets up to grab the napkins. When he’s out of earshot you can’t keep it in anymore, so you whisper your middle name, knowing he can’t hear you but hoping he does, so he knows you at least care, that you want to tell him, you’re not a cold-hearted spy ( _or you don’t think you are, maybe that’s what you’ve become_ ). You tell yourself you haven’t though, because you do care about certain people. And you care about him. However maybe you are a cold-hearted spy because good people don’t lie about their name to a friend. _A friend_. He’s your friend and its only day 21. It’s been 3 weeks and already you want to pour out all of your secrets to him. It’s dangerous, you realize. He’s dangerous to you. He could make you do things and say things that you never mean to do or say. He’s a threat. Or maybe you’re the threat. Either way, you need to keep your distance. So you try, you try to keep your distance, keep your mouth shut, keep your face blank, and keep your emotions in check. You try to do all of these things, but it’s hard. _It’s oh so hard_ because every time you look at him you want to smile, you want to laugh at his jokes and stop keeping your distance. _Because every time he smiles at you, you feel your heart skip a beat, and then you’re not really sure it beats at all._

 

* * *

 

 

3\. He’s standing there with his eyes closed, his eyelashes fluttering, and his lips tight in anticipation. This is the end. And you’re not dying with any regrets so if this is it then your last moment is going to be kissing him because as much as you hate to admit it, _you like him_. His smirk when he smiles and his laugh when he jokes, his charming persona and his nerdy tendencies. The way he tries to act tough, but in reality he’s just a boy who is scared to let his guard down, to show weakness. He loves his family more than anything and he’s loyal. He’s so damn loyal it _kills_ you. He’s loyal to you which makes it more complicated and scary because you know, you know that he would take a bullet for you in a second. And you’re the one who’s supposed to be protecting him, he’s not supposed to protect you. If he ever did, if he ever got hurt for you or God forbid, _died for you_? You could never live with yourself; he’s one of the good ones. He hasn’t been corrupted yet and you’re hoping he won’t be ( _although there’s only 6 seconds left so you doubt that will happen_ ). You don’t think he would have though because he’s a good person. He’s just so good and when you’re around him you feel like just maybe you’re still good too. So you kiss him. It’s wonderful but afterwards, there’s so many things unsaid and so much awkwardness. You tell yourself you should have never kissed him, that it was a mistake, and when he asks you why you did it, you don’t answer, because in all truth and honesty it’s because you like him. You _care_ about him. _And it’s terrifying._

* * *

 

 

4\. He tells you that you can’t be together and it hurts. _Oh God it hurts so much_. But he deserves someone who he can actually know; he deserves a _real_ relationship. That doesn’t make it hurt any less though. It’s not that you were together, or could have been, but there was always a possibility, a chance of something more. A hope that your exchanged smiles, knowing glances and that one, blissful kiss meant more. That it could _become_ more. The door leading down that road was never completely closed and every once in a while you looked through the crack of light coming in and you loved it. The view was beautiful and it was comforting, to know that he would be there. That no matter what there was always a chance. _But now?_ Now it’s as if the door has been slammed shut. There is no longer a crack in the door to peek through. _And it hurts_. You should have known not to do this. You tried, sure. Tried not to like him, tried not to trust him, tried not to befriend him, tried not to fall. _Oh God how you fell_. It isn’t until now, when you’re on the ground looking up that you’ve realized you’ve fallen. You’ve fallen so hard. You didn’t even notice but now it’s too late. The pit is too high and slippery to climb back up, and you tell yourself you don’t because it hurts and it’s scary and terrifying and CIA agent Sarah Walker isn’t terrified of anything but this? _This terrifies you_ , which just makes the whole thing scarier. So you tell yourself you don’t. But in all honesty you love the view from the ground so much more.

* * *

 

5\. Your hand is on his. His arm is around you, and slowly he lifts it, as if to leave but you don’t want him to go just yet. His arms are so comfy and warm, and if he moves his arm maybe he’ll get out of bed and you don’t want that because right now you feel so comfortable and safe. You never feel safe, but _this?_ This feels safe, his arms around you and sunlight streaming in through the window of the old beaten down motel room. It’s ironic really, you’re a-wall and in a lot of danger and all of the sudden you feel safe. Except its more than feeling safe _-it feels like home-_. _Home_. The last time you felt at home was when you were 17 years old and playing card games with your dad, who was already planning the next con. You haven’t felt at home in 10 years. You’ve forgotten what it felt like. And you still aren’t exactly sure of what it feels like; all you know is that this, _this, right here, right now_ , feels like home. In his arms you feel at home, _you feel loved_. And suddenly it hits you. He loves you. He _must_ love you. You know he cares about you, he’s said it a million times. He’s told you that he wants to be with you and that you’re amazing but only now, do you see that this man loves you. It’s overwhelming really, it’s much to early to be thinking about these things and you shouldn’t even be thinking these things _but he loves you. He_ loves _you._ And maybe he’s never actually told you, he’s never said it to your face but that doesn’t matter because you know Chuck Bartowski like you know the back of your hand. And he loves you. And maybe, just maybe, you love him too. You turn to look at him, to see his face. You don’t know what you’re going to say or do, you just want to look at him. But you turn and he’s looking at you with a passion in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. You know what he’s going to do before he does it and you don’t really mind. Suddenly you’re kissing and _oh it’s amazing you’ve waited for so long_. It’s as if all of the emotions you’ve both pent up about each other are pouring out and _oh God you love him_. It’s not a question anymore. You’ve broken the cardinal rule of spies and you don’t really care. All you care about is the fact that his lips are on yours and the way he’s holding you. And then he stops for a moment, on top of you and smiles. It’s the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on his face and you smile back, because it’s you, you’re the one that put that smile there on his face. Your heart nearly bursts with happiness. He loves you, and you love him. Suddenly everything makes sense. You want to spend the rest of your life in his arms. Because _you love him_ , and home, after all, is where the heart is.


End file.
